Find Your Light: Healing, Awakening & Transformation
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My Story | My Journey | My Awakening
The Black Sheep: A Child Struggling to Find Her Place
The Battle with Darkness: Struggling with My Gifts
Hello, I’m Crystal Gayle – Your Spiritual Guide for Healing and Personal Transformation.
For much of my life, I felt like I was running from something I didn’t understand. My spiritual gifts—clairvoyance, clairsentience, and dream prophecy—would often surface, but I didn’t know how to embrace them. I was terrified. Instead of feeling empowered by these gifts, I saw them as curses, leaving me feeling lost, confused, and deeply introverted. I spent years hiding from them, thinking that they were the cause of all the chaos in my life.
Disconnected: My Search for Meaning in Religion
Growing up, I felt like I was the “black sheep". My family didn’t understand me, I was "the problem child" and I didn’t understand myself. My mother exposed me to many different religious beliefs and put me in treatment programs that didn't do anything but validate my already growing disconnect but nothing seemed to resonate or help me in my search for love, sanity, and peace. Even in the youth group, I felt like an outsider. I could always sense when something was fake or when the energy I was near was off, so I began to question everything. It didn’t make sense to me that people, who were supposed to be kind, and helpful were so judgmental, deceitful, and cruel. It felt like no matter where I turned, I was met with darkness and hostility. I couldn’t make sense of it.
If there is a God, why was I suffering so much?
The Emotional Turmoil: Battling Bullying and Abuse
Even within the church, I felt disconnected. The people who were supposed to represent God’s love acted no different than the cruel individuals I encountered at school. I wondered, “Am I crazy, or is it everyone else?” My experiences made me question my worth and purpose. Why was I so targeted by negativity, and why were these dark energies constantly attaching to me, and the people around me trying to hurt me and keep me down?
The harshness of my early life didn’t stop there. From the bullying at school to the emotional abuse I endured and the lack of support at home, it felt like a never-ending cycle. I faced hexes, curses, and manipulations from those around me—teachers, peers, even family members. I realized this world was filled with darkness and it had a tight hold on my soul. I felt like I could never stay in one place too long because, eventually, the darkness would show up and remind me of who "they" convinced me I was. The spirits of manipulation and control seemed determined to keep me beneath them, to suppress my power.
Running Away: Escaping the Pain and Chaos
By the time I reached high school, I couldn’t take it any longer. The learning experience was useless, the teachers wouldn't help me, and I couldn't focus due to undiagnosed ADHD. I gave up and dropped out in the 9th grade, but the pressure didn’t stop. The emotional and spiritual abuse at home became unbearable, I couldn't live up to their expectations of me and I couldn't figure out what was going on inside of me. So I decided I had to escape. I ran away from home at 17 and never looked back, desperate for freedom from the suffocating environment that was holding me back. I couldn’t bear the negativity any longer. For a while, I lived on people's couches, or with my abusive "boyfriend" at the time, just trying to make sense of the world and find my place in it, anywhere but home is where I wanted to be.
Chasing Freedom: A New Chapter of Uncertainty
I kept searching for answers, but nothing seemed to bring me peace. Despite the freedom, the darkness didn’t leave me. It was always there, following me wherever I went. No matter how hard I tried to move forward, I couldn’t escape the weight of my past. I was being hunted by darker unseen forces. Everyone I came into contact with had dark forces attached to them and I had a hard time trusting anyone. These entities were very aggressive trying to keep me stuck in their reality. They would manipulate me so strategically that I started to believe the entire world was against me. I wondered if I’d ever find peace or understanding.
The Battle Within: Unanswered Questions About My Existence
It wasn’t until much later that I began to see things differently. I tried going back to school several times, but something always seemed to get in the way. Despite all the setbacks, I eventually completed a program, and that marked the beginning of a deeper connection with myself and with God. I was no longer running from my purpose; I was slowly morphing into it.
But the darkness was still there. I could feel people’s true intentions—it was like a gift and a curse. I could see through people’s facades, but I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, hoping they weren’t as bad as they seemed. It felt as though I was caught in a constant battle between good and evil, with dark forces trying to control my soul. For a long time, I believed the evil that surrounded me was winning. I believed the lies that others told me about myself. I started to think that I didn’t deserve anything good in life.
The anger, confusion, and isolation took hold of me. I began to question my existence: Why was I here? Why had I been mistreated since I was a child? Why was I allowed to suffer? And most importantly, where was God in all of this?
Healing Begins: Embracing Isolation and Self-Love
Then, one day, I made to conscious decision to go within. I isolated myself, needing to understand who I truly was. It was during this time of deep reflection that things began to shift. I started reading, exploring spirituality, and, most importantly, learning to love myself. For the first time in my life, I started to understand that the negativity I had been surrounded by wasn’t a reflection of me—it was a reflection of the world’s projections onto me. I realized that I had never truly been taught how to love myself because I was always surrounded by controlling, angry adults who never allowed me to flourish.
Revelations: Understanding the Dark Forces at Play
It was during this time of self-discovery that I began to see clearly what had been happening all along. For most of my life, I had been under a spiritual attack. I had been a target of black magic, energy vampires, and demonic forces that were attracted to my light within. The more I reflected, the more I understood: if I the a target, it must be because I have something powerful within me. It means I have more strength, more light, and more purpose than I ever realized. I am not a victim—I am a warrior in training.
The Awakening: Reclaiming My Power
This is how my spiritual journey began, the moment of my awakening. I now understand that the dark energy that’s been trying to hold me down was only there because of my light, my potential, and my purpose. This realization changed everything. No longer do I see myself as small or broken; I see myself as a powerful force to be reckoned with. And now, I have stepped fully into my power, and so can you.
Your Journey Begins: You Are Not Alone
But this is just the beginning. I want you to know that you’re not alone in your struggle. If you’ve ever felt like life has been an uphill battle, or if you’ve ever felt misunderstood or targeted, I see you. I’ve been there. But now, I’m here to help you navigate through it. You are more powerful than you’ve ever known. The journey to reclaim your true self begins with facing the darkness head-on and embracing the light within.
Together, we will unlock your spiritual gifts, heal the wounds that have held you back, and step into your divine power. I’m here to guide you as you reclaim what was stolen from you and walk alongside you as you embrace your higher self.
Are You Ready to Embrace Your True Purpose?
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